The current COVID-19 Coronavirus pandemic is fundamentally changing our day to day lives. In the span of just days, we have gone from working, social beings to quarantined loners staring out at empty streets, too sick of binge watching Netflix to start The Office over again. While the health concerns regarding this virus are of course quite serious, I worry there is one unforeseen consequence of such a jolt to the American life: time to think. 

It was late August 2012 and I was supposed to be heading back to college for my sophomore year. Yet, after my freshman year, I was more confused about what I wanted to do than ever. I had abandoned my dream of writing film music (music theory proved too math-y for me) and I was thus left pondering the infinite choices that the “you can do anything you set your mind to!” mentality burdened me with. With this looming crossroads on my horizon, I decided to take a break and consider my options, learn about myself, and explore the world in the form of a gap year. 

At first, seeing all my friends load up their parents’ vans and head off to college made me question my decision –college was fun and I was now falling behind and missing out. I also had to call the head of Student Activities and let her know that I wouldn’t be back that year to serve as President of the student branch of that department, which I had been elected to and loved. I almost cried on the phone telling her. However, once I booked my first trip, I was feeling better about things. I was headed to Costa Rica to work in sea turtle and jaguar conservation, and was really excited for the experience. 

I still remember in vivid detail the morning I arrived in Costa Rica and met my group of volunteers before heading through banana plantations and crocodile infested rivers to get to our new rainforest home. We met in the hotel lobby – outdated furniture and couches with ripped upholstery were scattered around, volunteers in small groups lounged amongst them. I sat alone and awaited the leader’s arrival. However, in that moment, I had a major realization: no one would realize if I weren’t there. I didn’t know any of those people and they didn’t know me. For the first time in my life, I really felt as though I had chosen my own path instead of just staying on the one I was set on from childhood. While this seems liberating, it was actually terrifying. I had never felt more alone. 

While stationed at the base, deep in the Costa Rican Rainforest, I continued to feel out of place and even useless. I was helping with some aspects of the mission’s operation, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that if I weren’t there, they would still manage and it would go on fine. This thought extended back to my college life. I realized that everyone else’s lives just kept going and I was an unnecessary part. The Student Activities department was running just fine without me, my friends still went out and had fun, any space I had once occupied was filled or forgotten. Since we had no service in the jungle, it felt a lot like I had died (in that I was incommunicado) and no one seemed to care. 

I fear that this is similar to the unforeseen consequence of the current Pandemic. Once people step off the treadmill of a comfortable, predictable existence, they are forced to address the question: “What’s the point?” When things come to a grinding halt (as they have), it makes you wonder: “If it can all wait, is it really that important?” “Is anything I do really important?” It brings up the age old question of existence and scores some points of nihilism (or at least for nihilistic considerations). The life-threatening nature of this virus furthers this train of thought and, I predict, will leave a lot of career transitioning in its wake. 

Nothing like a societal shutdown to make you consider if you’re making the most of your life. I believe the fallout from this time off the track will lead to a large number of people transitioning jobs and careers when things get back to normal. Just as motion prompts more motion, change prompts more change. 

Will you make a change to your life after this pandemic is tamed? Have you been thinking about these larger topics during your time off? Can you relate to my experience in Costa Rica of feeling unnecessary? I want to hear your thoughts on this! Comment below